I wear the same shirt as yesterday with the hopes that enough of her still clings to it. An all to brief reminder of the night before. I slept infrequent. I'm half asleep as I write all this down. Last night felt familiar. Comfortable. Sleeping close. Loosing Feeling in my arm. Doctor we might have to amputate. That's fine, anything to be close. At work I make playlists full of silly, sappy songs. "You need him, I could be him, I could be an accident but I'm still trying and thats more than I can say for him." Strange how every song you hear reminds you of the person you want to be with the most. "Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman. Maybe he won't find out what I know, you were the last good thing about this part of town." I try not to think about things while I'm working. I'm always distracted. Between real dreams and the day ones. Always distracting me. Whoops, definitely almost dumped 20 thousand dollars worth of product on the floor. "wheres your head man?" Not here thats for sure. Living in the day dream of last night.
Sometimes I think of the Reality of the Situation. She isn't my girl. What are you doing dooood? Wheres your head man? Not here, thats for sure. There's tons of reasons to stop what we are doing. But all I need is one to keep this up. Imagine going through life knowing that you met someone so special and amazing but didn't take the chance to get to know her. I couldn't. I don't know what will happen. But I'll take the chance of heartbreak knowing I was close to something . Someone. I was oh so close. I think of all the things I could do if she was with me. I could do anything. I could do everything if she was with me. That, I for sure, believe.
Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself again. Always lost in my head. Forever it was just me. Now it's a shared space. Just between You and me.
in other news......
My skate skills are legit.
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