self centered if you think so

So i see her. Its been months. emotions stir. words run threw my brain. I wanna tell her i missed her, its good to see you, welcome home, so good, so long. but in all honesty i d rather you stayed away. I search for a positive statement to tell you, but it escapes me. its all negative, if you don't have something nice to say then you probably shouldn't have shown in the first place.

a few drinks later, my mood hasn't changed. but shes all over me. i feel sick. shes like some sloppy stranger that happened across this fool one to many times. if i could have a request mr DJ i d ask for you to play something slow, so i could sneak away. something distracting enough for me to run and be out of there before she even noticed. but i m stuck. just like always.

shes using all the familiar things she uses on me, and probably every other boy she does this to, all the way home. she rubs my thigh, messes my hair, tries to say sexy things but they just come off as a slippery mess cause shes so drunk.

i bring her in. i put her to bed. just like last time and the times before. "please stay. i m leaving again tomorrow. i need you here with me." my head hurts. my heart burns. "no, i m leaving now. your a mess. you ve always been a mess." if i stay i tell her, i ll do something i ll regret. i regret it every time we do. she begs and pleads. she doesn't understand. i tell her she never has. she ment the world to me. but the damage had been done to many times. i won't let it happen again. no i m not coming down to visit, no i won't be there for you, no i probably won't call you. you broke my heart to many times for me to forgive. she screams at me. you asshole. you piece of shit.

i get up to leave and turn at the door to see her with tears in her eyes. part of me knows i v destroyed her. she starts again and i tell her to stop. this isnt doing any good. i tell her to enjoy her life and be safe. i loved her once i tell her. that real love. but i have nothing for her now. this is the end.

good to see you, so long. so good. goodbye.

i leave into the cold night. soft snow falling. all that i leave her are my foot prints in her drive way. but those, like me now, will be gone when she gets up.

good to see you, so long. so good. goodbye.