I'll never forget the first time I met Jonas Faust. It was 1 AM in the back ally of some packed bar downtown. I thought I was a king that night, drinking as much as I could and trying to get with any girl that would let me close. Needless to say, I achieved the drinking part, but those girls knew better.
I could feel my insides quitting on me. My stomach was ready for evacuation. While I, on the other hand, did my very best to disagree with my biology. Also another failure. I pushed and shoved my way through the bro dudes to get to an open toilet only to find, to my dismay, a full house of goosed up jocks. I made the quickest U-turn in my entire life, there was no way I was going to spill my guts all over this floor. Save some dignity my boy! What will they think of you! I bolted for the back door.
Like a flash of lighting with a purpose, I kicked that door open to find the empty ally. My first thought was "Dude, didn't someone just get shot back here last-" Vomit flew from my body onto pavement. No, No, here will do just fine. Shootings or no Shootings, nothing was stopping this event. That all to familiar sound of Wetchunckyawful splashing to the ground. As of late, I was getting used to this. Drinking until my body said "Ok sir, that will do." I suppose I didnt mind, I was young. And young people were doing such things.
For what seemed like forever, the wave crashed. Nothing left. I was shaking. My eyes most likely blood red from popped blood vessels. I dropped down to a knee, defeated. Thats when I heard it. That sly chuckle. Not really a laugh, but not much of anything else. I turned and he was There. A slim man, looking about my age. I could see by street light he had slight stubble and was dressed with an untucked button up shirt and slim tie. Next to him was a amazing looking Co-Ed.
I thought to myself, fuckingwonderfulman. You've made a total ass out of yourself infront of a complete stranger and he is getting a good laugh out of you. What happened next I did not expect. The slim man chuckled again and said "chicken alfredo? been there before. tastes better the first time man." Not knowing how to respond, I just shook my head. Still in shame. The slim man bent down next to me and started in. "Your first mistake was too many shots boyo, stick to what you know. You can't be pro being kamafuckinkzi with that shit."
My pride was hurt. and who the hell was this guy? He motions for the girl to go back inside and tells her something I could not here. Wispering softly into her ear and small kiss on her cheek, leaving just myself and this stranger. Thoughts are going through my pounding head: is this guy gonna mug me? what the hell is going on?
The slim man tells me that he was about to seal the deal with his lady friend when my dumb ass burst through the door. He wasnt mad though. He had seen me during the night, doing shots and buying drinks. Telling me how if i were to keep this shit up, i was gonna burn a hole in my pocket and that will not do. "There is a way of doing things boyo, and I'm gonna show ya."
That sly laugh came again, he helped me up off the ground and brushed me off. We made for the door and I told him the bar was closing, why are we going back in?
"Your education in the Night Life starts to night boyo."
As the door closes behind us I ask him who he is. "The names Jonas Faust, and I'm gonna be your best fuckin friend."
If I had known then, what I know now. Everything that happend that year. All those mistakes and good times I wish I could remember. If I had just stayed home that night and slept, and never ended up in that back ally....
I would never have know the Night life. Or Jonas. Or anything for that matter. I guess fate has a funny way of showing up. My moment was on one knee in a back ally puking my guts out.
These things happen....
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