scatter brain

i v had my fair share of rotten things happen to me over the coarse of the past 24 years. naming them all would take up entirely too much of my time. each one a scar on my personality that will stay with me. an ugly, sad memory of an event that i d love to forget.

i suppose dwelling on them can bring me down. and i do dwell. but that's never stopped me from doing anything i said i would. all these negatives add up to one thing: experience. they aren't a crutch to lean on or a excuses to rely upon. where has feeling sorry for yourself ever gotten anyone besides in a worse spot then they were before?

you wont find the answer your looking for in the bottom of a pint glass, or in something you can sniff up your nose or stick in your arm.

i v always been a firm believer in action. why waste the time talking when you can be out there doing something to fix yourself? sure, this horrible thing happened to you, but how are you going to pick yourself up and deal with it? action!

don't get me wrong, i know this is hard if not impossible for some people. its understandable. there comes a point where you find out who you are when your dealing with loss or what have you. for me, the way i got through a lot was to say to myself "dude, you got a lot of people looking to you be strong." i don't ever want to let my friends or family down. So i keep picking up the pieces and doing my best to put them back together.

it goes without saying though that i don't have the power to help or save everyone. i m not superman, or batman even. i have trouble with me sometimes even. but all these things still have never changed the fact of I am still me. which i am proud of, there are days where i wanna curl up and wither away, but i don't. why would i do that? that's totally not fun at all.

i m not sure the point of this blog really, but i enjoyed typing it. I suppose that my love of life gets me through the shitty times. there's to much to see and people to share it with to be bummed over things you can't change. death is forever, sure, but we are still here.

lets make the most of it and have the best time we can. ever. period.