The new bridge in Westfield is lit up like a Christmas tree. So many new lights. Its strange how you can be around one area for your entire life and then suddenly, with the addition of something new and foreign, that place becomes alien. Like you ve never been there before. I find myself there most nights. Looking at the construction of progress building our future right before my eyes. Across from me, I see the old Green Bridge. Not so green, more rust and bird shit than anything. No Lights for you old one, pitch black and forgotten. You ll be gone Before winter. Another strange void of the unfamiliar left in your place. I wonder how long it will before this place becomes unrecognizable to me. A stranger in my own home town.
I should have brought my camera. I should be in bed sleeping. I should be a lot of places. I should be anywhere but on my bike in the middle of the god damn night looking at decrepit bridges.
I make my way back home. Things no more clear then when I left hours ago. Lock the bike up. Lock the door. shower and shave. teeth brushed, toe nails cut. Make your way to bed young man, sleep will rescue you. All I need is a few hours. Just 2 or 3 to make it through. But we know that won't happen. See the bed is empty. Not shared. A bed made for a King, but used by lonely lush.
I could hitchhike my way to a few different beds. all shared by different Queens. Find comfort for the night. Have my way and that would be the end. Cheap and unfair. Goodbye and Goodnight, tuck the Queen in and I m out the door. I m not sure if i feel sick, or If I just feel myself dying a little on the inside.
Makes me wonder what I am capable of. Could I be a King? or just be the Monster I think I m becoming. Ever since things changed, and my Queen moved back to her King, the stars don't shine so bright. The Sun seems a tad bit cooler. And I can't Sleep proper at night.
I wish I knew how to fix myself.
"believe that you are just fine. believe that you are."
No comments:
Post a Comment